Fully God's?

I was reminded yet again Wednesday at church, to give all of me to God. I remember when I was a kid, growing up. When God opened my eyes and I saw everything going on around me, and He called me to Him . . . I was on fire for Him! I read the Bible every day every moment of the day that I got a chance. Especially when I reached High School!

When I'd finish my work in school, or finish a test, I'd open up my Bible (which I always had on my desk), and I'd read. I had a notebook too that I'd write down scriptures in as I came across them, that God would place on my heart to write down. (Years later I'd find that the importance of that was much more than I imagined.)

But as I exited school, and got a job, life seemed to take happen of course. Not necessary the hardtimes and all that, I was used to having hardtimes. But being busy and having my mind on a dozen or more things at one time, that sure happened. It became worse when I entered into a certain outreach, which was like casting a lit lightbulb into not just darkness, but tar that not only is darkness, but envelops and quenches that light. I knew I'd have to be strong in the Lord, but . . . well the devil is probably the most subtle enemy we know. Slowly things end up getting your attention off the Lord and soon enough you find it difficult to even keep fellowship through Prayer with God the Father!

I kept struggling though each time I was reminded of that truth, that I had indeed backslidden and no longer gave God all of me. I kept struggling to regain what I had willingly given up! I knew how to do it, and what I needed to do. Yet to even do that small first step was apparently hard to do! That's when you know something is seriously wrong, and that your flesh (old man, sinful nature) is in more control than your spirit! When you find it excruciatingly hard to do something as simply as praying at least once a day for even 5 minutes . . . or reading even just one chapter of the Bible . . . you know that you're in trouble there. The devil certainly did a number on you so subtly and somehow you're now walking in obedience to your flesh instead of the Spirit!

But I'm not about to give up. Never. A few times I did give up because I thought God must've abandoned me or I'd gone so far and turned my back on God for good. So I would indeed give up! About 30 seconds after though I knew I couldn't actually give up. So instead I took my doubts and took the lies of the devil that said God couldn't help me or that I had turned away from God for good, and told God, "God . . . even if You gave up on me--which I know isn't true--I'm not going to give up on You. Even if I'm bound for hell because I lost my salvation, and I turned my back on you for good, I'm going to keep trying. I'm going to forever try to glorify you and tell others about you and seek to do what YOU want me to do. I'll do it all the way to Hell if I have to, but I won't stop." I was reminded of what Job said in Job 13:15 "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him..."

So I won't give up. Never!

But I've pushed through, making a point to read a book of the Bible every day. Or I'll try to read a full book, might have some trouble with some books like Psalms of course! But I've read 1 John yesterday, and 2 John today, and 3 John tomorrow, and then one of the Gospels and so forth. I WILL give my time back to God. I will not keep robbing Him of what is His! And I will also spend time in prayer, and just fellowshiping with God. Afterall . .. Christianity is not just a title, or a religion or anything like that. It's a lifelong relationship with God Almighty. And a relationship cannot succeed without communication!

Now the question is: Do you give God all of you? Really think about it, don't just blab an answer you think you know. Do you spend time with Him in prayer and learning what He said by reading His Word? Even more grave of a question: Is there anything in your life, that if God asked you to give up that thing . . . would you refuse?